BLOG: No Blind Eyes, Only Deaf Ears

Predictive Text Hearing

I once had a phone that always substituted the word ‘next’ for ‘newt’. This drove me so mad that even now I always keep that function turned off. Unfortunately I can’t do that with my brain.

My ears have always struggled to differentiate between similar letter sounds. B,C,D etc. all blend together as do S&F. But over the years my brain has learnt to fill in the gaps by using memory and logic to insert the words my ears miss to create a feasible sentence. It’s all rather like Predictive Text and as amazing as this is, my brain has been known to make strange mistakes.

At Infant’s School my favourite song had the official lyrics of, “Who built the Ark? Noah! Noah!”  Much to my families’ amusement my version went, “Who built the Ark? No one! No one!”

Did it make sense to me? Perhaps not, but I trusted my brain back then and who was I to say if lyrics sounded stupid? Has anybody refused to sing “Round and round the garden like a teddy bear” because it’s ridiculous?

My children find my breakdown in logic both amusing and infuriating, depending on how many times they have to correct me.

“Why would I be asking for a fag?” my 12yr old son once asked. “I said, ‘Where’s my bag?’!”